behindtheLENZ: S2E03: The Unknown of Not Knowing

Looking around at the four walls that make up my bedroom in this Manhattan apartment, there's nothing but space and time to really think about a lot of things in my life. I would be lying to everyone if I said everyday was a good day but I can tell you everyday is a blessed day. There are so many things I want to do in this life, so many adventures I have yet to take. It's hard not knowing exactly what will come next or when the next big idea will come and if anyone out there tells you otherwise then they are lying to you and themselves. 

But what happens when the unknown of not knowing really just takes over your brain? I know a lot of people thought I was crazy when I said I wouldn't renew my contract and that I would venture out on this journey of self-discovery and new adventures. So far I'm not disappointed in the decision but there are days that I really sit back and question, did you really make the right decision? How crazy are you to think New York City was the place for you to move? I mean the list goes on and on. Then I think about the good in my life, I think about the change that's happening within me, that I'm not so sure that people have had the pleasure of even meeting yet. 

I have this one friend however who insist that I never look at the brighter side, that I never stop and exhale about my current situation. There's nothing wrong with being overly optimistic, if that's how you live your life more power to you, I'm happy for you. As for me I am a realist, I live in the real world, where there are real consequences and maybe that's just how I was raised, maybe that's just the reality that my background taught me. 

So, there's a lot to be said about not really knowing what will happen next, sometimes I love a great surprise but then there are time like now that I really want to know if there's something great or something bad waiting for me around the corner. 

Until next time, 

peaceWORLD