behindtheLENZ 6: Serving a Sentence

I heard from a friend today that you just have to suck it up and serve your time. Not time in jail or anything but serve the time in a place in your life where you don't want to be but you have to be there at a particular time. Sometimes, I feel like I'm just going through the motions. Honestly I don't want to just go through the motions. I need to be freed.

behindtheLENZ 5: Giving & Living

dear GOD,

thank you for allowing me to live the life that I strive everyday to improve and make better. these blogs often times allow me time to reflect and dwell on feelings that sometimes I keep bottled up inside. I met a man today, a man who has cancer. I guess I should start at the beginning of the story before I get to that part. on Monday typically I volunteer for four hours at a hospital working as a patient visitor. apart of the job is going around and talking, visiting with patients who sometimes don't really get visitors. you just never really know who you're going to meet once you walk into a room, but today I met a man and he has cancer. we talked for a little while about him and how he lived his life and how in all of his 70 plus years he only had 3 jobs and how he didn't know what life was until the cancer came along. as I sat in his room talking with him, he just wanted to make sure that I was living my best life and was living it to the fullest.


we never know when our time may come or the hour in which we will be called to leave this place, but as the man and I spoke, my eyes started to fill up with water because if that man, sitting on a bed with cancer in his body was so full of life then I know I could be too. I enjoy going to that hospital every Monday morning and I love talking with people, every now and then you met a man like a met today.


i plan to continue giving of myself to those who sometimes just need someone to sit and listen to them as they talk and i surely plan to live my best life and to the fullest, because if JERRY could do it then I know I could do it too.

until next time,

peaceWORLD

behindtheLENZ 4: Long Way From Home

Hello everyone,

The past couple of days have really and truly been interesting. I'm sure those of you reading this are thinking to yourselves, "why is it so interesting?" Well, let me tell you! Are you the kind of person that often thinks to yourself when the phone rings what will the person want on the other end, because let me just tell you that I often do. It's no secret that I think of Chicago as my home, but everyone who pretty much knows me is aware that I was born in Mississippi but home has always been and will be Chicago.

I received a call from someone I knew in Mississippi way back in the day and you could consider this person family friend and let's just say I haven't heard of talk to this person in years and by years I mean double digits, not single digit at all. Anyway, first Sunday night there was a text message from an unrecognized number, I was sitting at my desk at work and I was busy updating web copy that I did not read the message right away, but a text turned into a call, so I picked up. I didn't recognize the voice on the other end but soon the person made sure I knew who it was.

The talk turned into I got your number from someone who has it and I've been trying to reach you for years and I know that you are doing well and you're by yourself, and I'm just so happy to hear your voice, and I hear you are on TV and oh CAN YOU LET ME HOLD SOMETHING? BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, SAY WHAT?  Now for those of you who may not know what that means, that slang talk or someone's way of asking can they have some MONEY? So I looked at the phone and nearly dropped it because I was so floored that this "&^%#$^*^%$#@$&**" had the nerve to scoop out the information from someone who had my number and then call to think just because I was "doing well" they could get money.

The lessons here, FIRST, if you have my number I'm sure you are aware that you NEVER give my number to ANYONE without my permission, I don't care if you think I want to talk to the person or not. TWO, home is definitely here in my heart and not a certain place, I will never forget being born in Mississippi and fighting so hard to get out of there because I saw what the surroundings did to the people I was close to, people in my own family. FINALLY, the one thing I'm still pondering over is if I should extend a lifeline to this person or not. So many people helped me last year when I was in a rough spot. I just want to pay it forward.

Until next time,

peaceWORLD

behindtheLENZ 3: Perfection

What an interesting word and today through the storm I realized that I just might be what is called a perfectionist. I reached this conclusion because in live television there's only a few things we can control and the things I can control I now know that I want it to the best work I can produce. This weekend just didn't happen the way I would have liked but I can only hope that every weekend from here on out turns out to be much better.

I was honestly all set to just really go in through this blog post but you know what that requires energy and that's something I just don't have right now. I have to be up early in the morning.

peaceWORLD

behindtheLENZ 2: Hard to Say Goodbye

As a journalist there are plenty of things that we do in order to tell the story in a compelling manner. We are often put in situations that a lot of the times many of us just fell horrible about. Take this for instance, someone dies and we cover it. I want to be the first journalist to tell you just case someone else hasn't, we are human too, and trust me we are doing simply what we have to do and nine times out of ten we don't want to knock on your door after a family member or loved one has been hurt. I for one after 7 years of doing this still find it hard to talk and ask questions of someone who just lost a loved one. I know it hard to say goodbye. I have had death in my own family and I wouldn't want some reporter knocking down my door looking for a story either, but I also understand it has to be done. It is terribly hard to say goodbye this I know for sure.

peaceWORLD

behindtheLENZ 1: New Name & New Love

Hello there everyone,

I hope this blog post finds you all in the best of spirit. You will notice something a bit different with my blog post to come. I originally titled my blog InsideMindz, but I wanted to change it for this new season of post and call it behind-the-LENZ. You can say I have a thing for the Z, lol. However, with that said, I will continue to give you an uncensored look into my world but I will incorporate more of my work and my personal life into this new title. In short you will get a view of what's behind the lens, metaphor for a lot of things since I work in front of the camera.

So since the new name part of this blog is out of the way, I guess I should touch on the new love??? A few friends of mine often say that I'm not open to relationships, that they believe I enjoy being alone. In some way I agree with them, but that's not entirely true. Maybe I have my eyes on someone, maybe the timing just isn't right, maybe we are worlds apart, maybe I'm just afraid of being hurt again. Whatever, it may be, how do you know when it's time to just lay it all on the line? Until next time friends.

peaceWORLD

InsideMindz 12: "To Deal or Not to Deal"

I know we have all heard the saying, "born with a silver spoon" right? Well I have been thinking about that a lot lately. I received a text from my sister saying that she felt like a failure and it literally pissed me off so bad. I told her I never wanted to hear those words come out of her mouth again. She didn't text me back after that because I think I might have made her mad but she knows I love her and only wants the best. We are certainly in difficult times, but this difficult time is even more difficult for some of us. There are some people in this world that absolutely want for nothing and have everything. The system in this country is so backwards that sometimes I don't understand. I worked darn hard to get an education, that wasn't free mind you, and continued to work hard to break my way into an industry that many people perceive to be so glamour filled and that couldn't be further from the truth. It is serious a hard time for millions upon millions of Americans.

It is so much easier some days to just drown yourself in your sorrow instead of getting up and doing something to change the situation. My sister who I spoke of at the beginning of this post is such a hard worker and does so much for others that often times she forgets that she needs to take care of herself. So I challenged her to work on that, to put herself first, to deal with the elephant in the room and take control of her life, and not to deal with the negativity and road blocks that may present challenges for her. I will take a challenge as well, to continue to make myself better and do what I need to do in order to ensure that I get a silver spoon. That way my spoon is long lasting because it will be a spoon that I worked very hard for.

peaceWORLD

InsideMindz 11: "Love or Career, Is That Question?"

What a floodgate of emotions I have been having lately. I look at my life and the people in it and I think, Am I where I should be at this time? I think all of this is coming to light because this year marks ten years that I have been out of high school and have been in what we call the "real world." A friend of mine no matter how many times we have a conversation he always seems to ask, Why are we single Kelsey? I I often ask myself the same question, but it wasn't until my cousin and I were talking over facebook chat one day last week that it really hit me. She asked was I dating and I said no and she wanted to know why. She went on to say that I have a career and educated and lets not forget that I am very pleasing to the eyes (modest much) but I wondered to myself, really what I is the problem. Then it hit me, at this point I have decided to be married to my career. Right now my career is who I wake up to in the morning and who I home to at night. Am I wrong for doing this. I also see people who are married to their careers live unhappy and unfulfilling lives. Trust me I don't want that for myself.

But there is always more to this story do I want to invest in a relationship. The same friend that insist on reminding me that I am single is the same friend who says I have closed my heart to love because of that one bad relationship so long ago. I tell myself that I am over it and honestly I believe I am but when it comes to trust with me, that's when it gets tricky. Keyisha Cole has a song on her new album and a line from that song says "Broken Hearts Develop a Fear of Flying"and I would much rather deal with my career than be disappoint with another failed relationship. One day I will be ready and maybe that day is today or maybe it could be tomorrow but in that same song there is also a line that says, "Just When I said that I was through with Love...that's when you saw my SOS! So it's definitely out there and as long as you are willing to be patient with me then who says I can't have both my career and a great LOVE!

peaceWORLD

InsideMindz 10: "Stay Grindin'"

It surely has been a minute since I my last scribe, but I'm back and with a lot to say. This first post of the new year is appropriately titled stay grindin' because that's what 2011 is all about. You know I'm on a mission to build and create an empire and that work started 1/1/11. No one said it was going to be easy and already I can see challenges and obstacles ahead, but I am willing to take them on. I read something the other day that just resonated in my brain, "The best way to predict your future is to create your own." Let's just say the creation has begun.

peaceWORLD